To clarify last blogpost, ladies and gentleman, I'd like to say I don't hate Monmouth College. Truly, I don't. It's beautiful here and the people are pretty friendly, all things considered.
I'm just a freshman stuck in a brand new world and the future is creeping up on me. Existential crisis, a friend or two has called it. And now I'm wondering what I'm doing. Where am I going to end up?
But then, I finally calmed down. I talked to a few of my good friends. I talked to a professor. I'm stepping down from the ledge, so to speak. I guess it's just a typical part of life - and sometimes you hit it early, sometimes you don't. I typically hit things before everyone else. I'm not sure if this is one of those cases.
It's all baby steps, I suppose. Invite people over, talk to people you typically don't talk to, chill out in the library or the lounge or sorority house as opposed to your room. Give out your number if the person passes the creeper test or the bitch-you-don't-want-to-have-on-your-contacts-list. And just *be.*
It takes time, but I'll get there. I've got all this time, and don't have any time, all at once. That's beauty of living, isn't it? Not having a clue when it all ends. It kind of sucks because when the moment comes I imagine you feel pretty stupid about all the time you wasted…but that's just being human, really. I know I waste time. I feel pretty miserable sometimes. I think it's inevitable. I guess just try to live in the now, and don't sweat the small things. I hear people complain about the most retarded things, and it really makes me go, "huh? Quit being so negative."
Seriously, positivity is key. I have my moments, Lord knows, but at least I'm trying. And that's all I can do.
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