Places, I am going

Got paid today. YEAHHHH! I needed the good ole (not) trustfund replenished...sooo bad.
And the truck is fixed. No more dent from some asshole, and no chipped paint. It's so purty :)) Plus it actually has more than a quarter tank of gas. Payday, again, chicka chicka yeahhhh!

I have a new mantra now. I've finally reached that point of not looking back at all the things I could've, should've, would've done. It's the first step to a new and improved and, ultimately, happier Cassie. I guess I've finally become exhausted with the whole thing - imagining all these different scenarios with people if I had said this or done that.
It's growing up, and as much as I hate doing that sometimes, as it means another piece of innocence lost, it has to happen, right? Better it happens now than when I'm like 50 and realize I've spent my life being stupid far longer than I should. What I mean by that is how some people never leave high school - they just stay the same person, keep trying to date the same people or take jobs that are just as dead-end as the one before or talk about the same old people.
Where's the forgiveness? Where's the bravery in that? It's terrifying to think that I will be the same person in thirty years that I am now, yet there are people like that. They have kids, jobs, etc. but their personalities never change. It's always the same mindless drabble, a never-ending circle.
A big part of it is where they live, which is why I will never live in Taylorville again. It's starting to lose its significance anyway and turning more into nostalgia. I have new appreciation for it but since those days are gone and I'm not focusing on the past anymore, it's time to remember it fondly but think of new places. I want to live in Europe for a while. I'm not sure how long, but I need to get away from the U.S. and everything even slightly familiar. It probably will not be until after college. I don't intend to plan what I do after college. I know I'm not going to go to undergrad because I will undoubtedly be burnt out on school and need to take a break - it'll be weird after 16 years of schooling, but I'm determined to take a year off. I think i'll just buy a plane ticket and go somewhere - the coast of the U.S., Europe. Maybe I'll have some friends there from when they studied abroad or when I studied abroad.
I need to do it then because that's the time to do it - I'll be 22, graduated college (if all goes as planned), and no doubt thirsty to see the world. I gotta do it before I get stuck in a job or stuck in grad school or stuck with whatever thrown my way - hopefully not kids but a boyfriend or something.
Get out while the gettin' is good, is the phrase.
After Europe or wherever, I think I'll move to the coast here in the U.S. Jobs will play a part I'm sure, or even grad school - I haven't given up on Mizzou just yet. Missouri might be welcome after my time abroad. We'll see. Then again, maybe I'll get more schooling abroad. Have to see.
I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. It's still early so I have time, but I prefer that when it comes to planning things. Ask anyone who's been to one of my big parties. I plan for a week, two weeks, perhaps a month in advance. I don't know if I want to go into publishing because it might be mind-numbing work. I don't know if I'll want to be a reporter or not. I might be burnt(burned?) out on that. I just want to see the world, and reporting might be the best idea, especially for a young, single woman with no major family commitments.
Yeah, I'm going to be one of those career women. I could never be a housewife. I'd be one of those housewives that kills her husband with a pitchfork or arsenic or something and screams "YOU STOLE MY YOUUUUUUTH!"
Who knows. Maybe I'll be a graphic designer at Vanity Fair or something. I love designing spreads. For now, I guess I'll just do what I love and see what follows. That's ultimately how you find yourself. I'm hoping to get an internship next summer, preferably in Chicago. We'll see.